There’s something I was thinking about the other day and even tweeted about it. I was thinking about appearances and how we meet so many people that we don’t know much about, yet we label them or define them in some way. Something about them tells us that they might be a certain kind of person. Or that they might act in a certain way. We see patterns that we’ve observed in others and we tend to maybe judge those people based on those patterns. But that is on the surface. That is something that we see. The depth of a person we meet is behind that façade. It is in their story and in the life they’ve lived. When we get to know someone and we listen to their story, we find out so much more. We find where some things originate from. Why they act a certain way. What defines them to them. Have you ever thought about your story? If someone were to ask you about your life and how things have been up until this very moment of your existence, what would you tell them? Let’s talk about this…
The People We Meet
Have you ever met someone and rushed to conclusions based on the way they looked or the way they acted? You wouldn’t be the first. The majority of us do that and it is even a pleasure when someone we didn’t think too much of comes to impress us with their intelligence, their kindness or their attitude towards a certain situation. It changes our perspective over them for the better.
But the truth is – first impression counts. The first few seconds of interacting with a person can tell us a lot about them. It’s not always visible; there are lots of things that give away more in-depth things about someone. But their life story… That will complete the picture and will help us understand them better.
It’s true that sometimes people don’t tell the truth about themselves. It’s true that we can’t always trust everything that someone says. But the way they tell you their story will give you some insights. The way they talk about events that acted as lessons, what they learned and what made them change their mind will tell you who you’re dealing with.
One thing I learned for myself is that judging people won’t help you understand them. Instead, tell them something you appreciate about them. Finding something to truthfully compliment them about will make you think creatively and look for the good in people rather than the bad. Everyone can teach us something. Even if it’s just how not to act, think or do certain things. The point is – that will slowly open them up towards you. And they’ll tell you about them. They will let you in on their story. When you do that, you realize that everyone is a little universe. One that is filled with great experiences. Even people who might seem boring at first have something to say, so listen up!
You Change With Your Story…
Last week, we looked at identity and how it shapes who you are and how you act. If you’ve not read that yet, have a look here.
This identity we form around us tells a story. And the way in which we tell that story is really important in our life. Because we are the protagonists of that story. We are the central character in our own life story.
If you want to change your life, you’d want to change your beliefs, your convictions, but most importantly, your story. A new story will give you a new identity.
What do I mean by that?
Well, if you were to look at your life, from birth to this very moment, when you’re reading this, what would you tell someone? Have you had a boring life? Have you had an exciting life? Were you dealt a bad hand? What’s your story?
The story we tell about us can empower us or discourage us. Would you tell someone who asks you that you drew the short stick? That you were doomed to live in poverty, in mediocrity and obscurity? Would you talk about how unfairly you were treated by your parents, by society, by life in general? Is that what you have to say about yourself?
Or…
Would you tell a story that inspires others to become better, stronger, wiser? Would you look at the good and the bad that happened in your life and see the beauty of it all? The fact that there was a purpose in everything – to create the person you are today. Would you see that despite all the bad and the ugly, against all odds, you were able to make things happen? And even if you didn’t make it yet, would you be able to look at the experiences you had and get the lessons you were supposed to learn?
You see that there’s a big difference between the two. You could talk about one person in both ways. We all go through highs and lows, but what do we focus on? Do we focus on the bad things that happened or the good things? Do we tell a story of failure or a story of success and growth? It’s really up to each one of us.
So What If You’re A Loser?
Sometimes you might be in situations where you don’t have anything to look back on and see how well you did. You might just be starting out in life, so there’s really not much to look at. Hell, you might have really had a rough time, with nothing at all working out. I would tend to say that if you got old enough, literate enough and patient enough to read this, you are on the right path. But for a moment, let’s just assume that you’ve really had a bad life. You’ve really had the worst life ever and there is nothing good that happened to you. Nothing that would make up an empowering story. What do you do then?
Well, where there’s a will, there’s a way.
If you really didn’t have anything good happen in your life, from all the bad that happened, what could you learn? What is it that you could do differently? If all turned out for the worst, what would you need to do in some other way to change your life from now on?
Regardless of what you think, right now, at this time in your life, you’re in the best place you could be. Everything that has happened to you had a good reason.
If you’ve had a great life, congratulations! There’s lots of things to get your energy from. Lots of great things to recall and stack up in order to move forward.
If you’ve had a shitty life, congratulations! There’s lots of lessons to learn from and put together to create a blueprint. A plan of what to change in order to make your life a masterpiece. If you really are in this situation, smile! You will have a great story to tell. The story of how, despite all the bad, you were able to beat the odds. The story of how you took all the bad that happened to you and turned it around to become a great human being – a fountain of real joy. The story of a new you!
So in the end, if you want to change your life, look at the story you tell yourself about yourself. Adjust it. Make it something that is worth telling, but most of all, worth living! And if you really want to take it to the next level, get in touch with me. I will help you take that step forward. Find me on my socials @danielccoaching or just drop an email at support@danielccoaching.com. Step into your new life! I am waiting for you here.
Bless you!
Daniel
Daniel C Coaching 
One thought on “Stories Of Our Lives”