There are many variations of this limitation: not intelligent enough; too new; too slow; too fast; not handsome/beautiful enough; too inexperienced; not fit enough. I could go on and on about the range of excuses or limitations we have in store when we are not ready to take something on. Not being enough of something or being too much of something else can often feel like a big burden. And it’s not unnatural. But what is actually true is that these limitations are just imagined. Those things that you think you’re too much or too little of are just in your head and it’s very likely that nobody else will ever think about them.
What do I mean… Well, one thing that was a recurring theme for me was that I was too young to be a coach. Too young to have enough authority in front of others. Too young to teach anyone, anything about life. Too young to be taken seriously and to have success. All of these things and thoughts were going through my mind, despite always having been regarded as very mature in thinking and much wiser than my age group. But I was still thinking that I couldn’t fool anyone. And when the rubber would hit the road, I would still lose to others who perhaps had a few years of life ahead of me.
Where Excuses Come From
We don’t quite realize where these excuses come from and how they make their way into our minds. The truth is, we don’t even think too much about this. But these excuses come straight out of fear. Fear that we are not enough and that others might realize that we’re just imposters.
We have all heard about the imposter syndrome. It’s that feeling you have when you start something new and you don’t really understand what you have to do, how to do it or what you are even doing there. You might have the authority that comes with that role, but you’re still faking it, hoping that you’ll make it. And you do feel like you don’t belong. You shouldn’t be in that position because people can tell that you’re just crap and it will all soon hit the fan.
Does it sound familiar? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt that way. In all of my jobs, all stages of life and all roles that I’ve had, there came a time when I felt like I didn’t belong there. Like it was much more than I was capable of. But I came to the realization that all these excuses and the imposter syndrome were just the result of fear. And that fear was the result of a lack of clarity.
Get Clarity!
When you’re facing a new challenge, everything may seem scary. We’ve not really tackled anything like this in the past, we’re not prepared, we have no plan. Of course it feels overwhelming. And of course you would have the tendency to think that you’re not prepared for it. But there are two things that make things easier. One is the state of flow. The other is clarity.
When we see things with clarity, there is nothing to be afraid of. We are usually afraid of the unknown and something being unknown to us usually gets translated as ‘I am not enough’. But when things are clear and we have a well defined path, we know no longer fear what is coming.
Your Self-Perceived Limitations Become Your Powers
It’s rather hard to wrap your mind around this idea. Your limitation can, in fact, become your power. This depends on how you look at things. How you frame them will make it or break it for you. What do I mean? Well, if you think you’re too young to do something, that’s rather disempowering. If you are very young indeed, the way to turn this around is to think of yourself as able to have a fresh, modern perspective over things and the energy of youth on your side.
If you think you’re too old, on the other hand, a more empowering vision is to think that you have so many years of experience that you can condense and use to your advantage in order to make things happen quickly and efficiently.
In the same way, you’re not stupid or inexperienced – you are not biased by the way things have gone so far and because of that, you can bring innovation along!
Everything that you now think of as a limitation can no longer be your excuse! Because everything can be turned around to serve you!
Daniel C Coaching 