There are lots of things that have been written about depression. There are numerous studies done on it and the more we look around us, the more we see people talking about it. A while ago, depression was not that big of a deal. But the advances in technology, the evolution of human beings and their thinking, gave a lot more way to this sometimes paralyzing state to enter our lives. The newer generations, like the late millennials, the zillennials and gen z-ers have a much harder time because they are flooded with advice and ways to get them out of depressed states, but most of these do nothing more than dig the hole they are in even deeper. I am not trying to bring a scientific point of view over depression or give anyone advice here. No. I am here to just reiterate some of the things that have helped me and many others get out of it. Things that do this on a consistent basis. So let’s have a look together at the topic of depression.
What is Depression?
According to the WHO, depressive disorder (also known as depression) is a common mental disorder. It involves a depressed mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time.
They also state that depression is different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life. It can affect all aspects of life, including relationships with family, friends and community. It can result from or lead to problems at school and at work.
So far so good. We understand that depression is a state. This aligns with my belief that depression is indeed a mood, rather than a disease. However, people don’t necessarily regard it as such. When someone hears that you are depressed, they are very likely to ask if you’ve been to therapy or if you have been on antidepressants. I can’t help but wonder… Have you ever seen someone who has been on antidepressants for years and is still depressed? I would dare to say you probably have.
So the question is: are medication and therapy the solution to lifting you up and out of depression? They certainly are a solution. Their effectiveness might be a bit off, but if you feel that this might help, you should try for yourself and check on the results.
Why Am I Depressed?
In short, it depends. Your depression might be the result of something truly dramatic. An episode of abuse. The loss of a loved one. The loss of your financial means. A divorce or even something as small as a quarrel at work.
Pretty much anything can cause you to be depressed. What are these events that I just enumerated? Exactly that. Events. Episodes. Things that happen once in a while and very likely, one-off incidents. So how come we suffer because of these, despite them happening once and then, eventually never again? Or at least not in the same manner… I will come to that in a moment.
There are other things that can lead to depression as well. You might have once had a biochemical imbalance. Maybe a deficiency of Vitamin D once put you in a cranky state. That, perhaps, led you to reacting poorly to something that needed your A-game. The results you got were disastrous and that made you think that you are not as good as you or others might have thought. That, then, led to another series of events that confirmed your idea. Quickly enough, you gathered so many confirmations that reinforced your initial idea and turned it into a belief. And when you start believing that you are not enough, prepare for the worst to come your way!
The thing is, regardless of how well we do in life, at one point, we will be put in situations that test us. That test our resiliency, our strength and our ability to snap back and get back on track. If you haven’t yet, you will, at some point, lose a loved one. You will experience something that will put you down. You will experience pain at one point in your life. The old Buddhists said that “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” If suffering is optional, it means that you have the choice to do it or not. In other words, you will experience pain, no matter what. But if you want to suffer because of that pain, it is up to you and you only!
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Buddhist saying
How Do I Un-Depress Myself?
Ok, so far we talked about what depression is, what may trigger it and how pain can sometimes turn into suffering (=depression) if we choose to dwell into that pain longer than necessary.
But how do you get out of it? That is the million dollar question!
The first step is to understand what depression is, beyond its dictionary definition. Depression is a lousy state, a suffering state, linked to something from your past. You can’t be depressed about something that hasn’t happened yet. Even when you want to do something and you fear that it might not work out the way you wanted, you will be basing your fear and suffering on past experiences of a similar kind. The good news is that The past does not equal the future.
The past does not equal the future.
Tony Robbins
If you’ve been carrying your depression for longer than you can remember, leading to more and more failures that feed into that loop, you are certainly running a pattern. A pattern of thinking, acting, body movement (or rather lack thereof). I mentioned earlier that the painful episodes that depress us are one-offs. And that is true. One thing will not happen twice in the same way. All moments are unique in their way. What will keep repeating is the pattern that we hold onto. If you’ve failed a job interview and then another one. And then another one and so on, chances are, you are running the same pattern again and again. That you are helpless, that you cannot make it etc. These thoughts will be transposed into your body language, your attitude and your words. Chances are that you will fail once again. But why does that happen? Because tend to not pay enough attention to the first few failures and adapt in order to succeed.
A short story will help: Everyone has probably heard of KFC. Colonel Sanders’ magnificent fried chicken. But very little know that Colonel Sanders was at his lowest point when he started out this magnificent chain that lives through to our days. He was in his sixties and barely had two pennies to rub together. Earlier on, he had tried to start a business selling fried chicken, but that wasn’t the way to his success. Before starting KFC, he jumped into his car and went from one restaurant to another, trying to sell his chicken recipe. Would you know how many times he was refused? 10? Maybe 30? Let’s say 50… None of these are close enough. He had heard 1,009 NOs before he got his first YES. But after every NO, instead of suffering about it and needing years to lick his wounds, he perfected his sales pitch and moved onto the next target.
So what should you do? Identify the pattern that you are running and adjust it. Change things little by little if big changes feel scary. Make it a little game to change one little thing at a time and check on how that affects the results you are getting. That way you will have improved your methods and you will get out of depression.
Spending time in nature will help as well, exercise will help as well. The way you move your body affects the way you behave. But the one thing you will have to master is your mindset. That is the way you will get out of learned helplessness and have the determination to move on!
One and arguably as important as your mindset is to find a worthy goal to move towards. Give it a thought… What have you always wanted to do? What is something that serves both you, and others? What can you do today that will give your life a new meaning and that will help you move the needle towards that? Goals are important, because they help us live in the present, understand the lessons from our past and look into the future on how to apply ourselves in order to bring value. The Good Book tells us that “Without a vision, people perish.” So what is your vision for yourself and your loved ones?
The Attitude of Gratitude
You might ask yourself how to keep depression away. Again, remember that you will still experience painful moments. You have beautiful moments and you enjoy them. But life is cyclical. And so, pain will still find its way into your life. So the real deal is in rebounding quickly enough to keep moving towards your goals.
The best thing to do is to live in an attitude of gratitude. Being grateful for what you have and excited about what you can create is what will give you the energy, the fuel to move forward. But what will separate you from others, apart from working on your objective, is a practice. A daily practice that cultivates the proper attitude about your life. Everything you have been through, good or bad, has brought you to this moment. At this point, you are the best version of yourself. You have room to grow and to do so much more. Be grateful for your past, be grateful for the present moment and for everything else that happens in your life. This will give you a newfound sense of accomplishment.
And for that, I want to give you a gift. This is the daily practice that I took on from my mentor – Tony Robbins. Prime yourself for success with just 10 minutes a day! And if you want the guidance of someone who will not judge you, a sounding board for your ideas and a person dedicated to seeing you succeed, it would be an honour to serve you as your success coach.
Step into your new life and live beautifully every day!
Daniel C Coaching 
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